Holding on to Yesterday...

A crystal jar of perfume
Long forgotten in my care
A tiny slip, some shattered glass
The fragrance fills the air

The piercing shards of consciousness
Wake me up with a start
The spicy scent of yesterday
Plays havoc with my heart

A whiff so full of memories
So cruel..., yet divine
A potpourri of emotions
Impossible to define

The tingling in my senses
Intoxicating, sometimes sad
It brings to mind the moments
Both the good and the bad

Holding on to all those moments
Clinging on to yesterday
The heady aura of reminiscence
Begins to fade away

The desperation and the panic
Now begin to grow
It's hard to bottle up a memory
When it's time to let it go

Without warning, like it happened
It's all suddenly gone
Just the broken glass lies on the floor
A reminder to move on

Time to make some more new memories
And get rid of the gloom
Time to clear up all the splinters
And get some new perfume

Learning...

Learning to let go

When I want to hold on

Learning to be firm

When I’m melting inside

Learning to smile

When I want to cry

Learning to move on

When I want to remain

Learning to say no

When I want to give in

Learning to shut out

When I want to let in

Learning to just wait

When I want to try

Learning to be

Who I am not

Is that what I should do?

Is that who I should be?

You Teach Me...

I wonder at you

At your persistence

How do you always go on

Even when I give up on you?

I am amazed at you

At your determination

How come you always find a way

And prove me wrong?

I am spellbound with you

With the ease of your actions

How can you make it seem so effortless

When all odds are against you?

I am fascinated with you

With your strength

Where do you get that sparkle in your eyes

When all I see is darkness?

I am intrigued by you

By the furrow of your brows

Where do you find that concentration

Amidst a world full of chaos?

I am in awe of you

Of your integrity

How do you always speak the truth

When those around know only to lie?

I am surprised at you

At your loyalty

How do you defend and forgive and love

Even those who have let you down?

I admire you

For your patience

How can you always be so calm

When those around you are losing their minds?

They say I’m your teacher

Yet how can that be?

When every day

You teach me things

I can teach you to read

And write

And spell

And to count your way through

But how important is that

When you can teach me

About hope

About love

About persistence

And determination

About integrity

About strength

About loyalty

And concentration

How important then

Are my ABCs?

You are far beyond it all

Wise beyond your years

Through the window on a rainy day...

A world
Dreary, dusty, dull, deprived
Trudging through the days
Day after day

A burst from the skies
A brilliant show of light
And suddenly
Rain

A drop of life here
A torrent there
Fragrance of wet earth
Instant revival

A world
Dazzling, delightful, dreamy, divine
Washed clean
Hope renewed

Believe...

I see you for you
Not what you do
So let me in
'coz I'm with you

Take a chance on me
I'm on your side
I'll be your friend
I'll be your guide

Believe in me
And when you do
You'll know that I
Believe in you

And then in time
All you must do
Is learn to believe
In yourself too

Sometimes we go
A bit off track
But it's not so hard
To come right back

Bring down the walls
Why do u hide?
When u can be the one
I've seen inside

Just keep the faith
And then you'll be
The kind of person
That I see

And if that becomes
Too hard to do
Just let me keep
The faith for you

feeling small...

When you talk of her, I think of me

In my head I see who she’s trying to be

I do understand but I don’t think I should

Coz I was never understood

The difference is small but it isn’t fair

Coz the difference is that you really care

Sometimes I just want to shout

Why wasn’t I cared about?

Why must I be nice when I don’t want to be?

But then again, you were nice to me

I don’t really want to be petty and small

But sometimes I don’t know how to deal with it all

Every time something makes it harder

The space between you and me just gets larger

I don’t want to relive what I went through

But I do it. I do it for you.

of jocks, cheerleaders and feeling good...

Ever had one of those days when you watch 16 year olds in American TV series fall in oh-so-true love and do tons of other things that you wouldn’t do even at 25, and wonder why?

Where these drop dead gorgeous 16 year olds think their lives are over if the guy they crush on likes their best friend... or where they decide that it’s totally okay to be married at 16?

Where schoolwork seems nonexistent and best friends are on call 24/7. (I mean, really! Are all American television teenagers such light sleepers?)  

Where eating chocolate ice cream straight from the tub on a girly slumber party seems like the solution to life’s every problem?  And yet, where eating so much chocolate ice cream adds not an inch to their perfect size 2 figures?

Where it’s totally ok at 16 to fly to the ends of the earth just coz your best friend sitting in another country once cried on the phone?  Or where teenagers constantly begging for an increase in their allowance or working odd jobs to buy a new dress for the prom, suddenly have enough air fare for an impromptu trip halfway across the world?

And what about this new thing some of us call ‘parents’?

Ever wondered how the so-called “feel good” factor could actually make you end up feeling  crummy just coz you’re not that glamorously dressed super hot cheerleader with the extra devoted melted chocolate geeky boyfriend plus the hot jock guy totally in love with you AND the best friend who would drop the world for you?

Ever felt like you’ve skipped a whole phase in your life and suddenly woken up to find you’re 25 and most likely never even turned 16!!!

And yet… ever tried to imagine a world without our favourite TV shows? (*shudder*)

If living vicariously works for us… well, then so be it.